Self loathing is a precarious thing
It makes you uncomfortable in your own skin
Makes you hate the very damn blood running through your own damned veins
Makes you loathe everything about yourself
The way you look
The way you sound
The way you walk
The way you think

And it doesn’t just happen let me tell you
It takes time
First you resist
You resist that little seed of doubt the world plants inside of you
You try your hardest to nip it in the bud
But it takes root
And it grows
With every taunt you let to get to yourself
With every night you spend crying into your pillow
And all the hours you spend staring off into space
Doubting yourself
Hating yourself
Because you will never be as good as some other person
Not as tall
Not as skinny
Not as smart
That you will never be what the world expects you to be

But what you don’t know is
What you don’t understand is
That you dont have to be what the world tells you to be
You dont have to be a certain way
Behave a certain way
Think a certain way
All you have to do is
Is to be yourself
And i know it sounds cheesy as hell
But its true
Because all you have to do is bring something new to the table
And your purpose for existing will be fulfilled

So darling
Wipe your tears
And stop thinking of all that you can never be
Because baby you don’t have to be anything atall
Except all that you already are



Prick by prick
Drop by drop
They bled her everyday
A kick to the stomach
A slap to the face
A punch to the gut
A knife to the base

While they didn’t kill her
They also stopped her growth
As much as she tried and as much as she hoped
She could not evolve, couldnot grow old

And then when the slaps stoped working
And the kicks didnt do the job
They sought to seek the power of words
To finally make her drop

With every taunt they threw at her
She died a bit more inside
Until one day she finally found her voice
Using a blade to bring out her ink
She wrote a poem in scarlet letters

When you just can’t

Sometimes i can’t take it anymore
Can’t handle the cruelty of unkind words
Can’t bear burdens that were thrusted on to me
Expectations unasked for
Pressures that i did not need
Choices that i did not make
Damage that i did not do
Sometimes i cant take it anymore




They thought they knew
What ruled her heart
They thought they understood
What lurked in her thoughts
They thought they saw what all she was about
Thought they knew why she had so many walls
‘To keep us out’, they wondered aloud
But sometimes we dont build forts to keep intruders away
Sometimes we obscure the view to hide the chaos within.

Holding on

The clock strikes twelve
And she sits there waiting
One, two, three, four
Its almost dawn but she’s still there
Waiting for something that will never come
Longing for something that isn’t hers
Wishing for someone who’s long gone
Six the clock strikes
And there she is
Still waiting